i loathed the day i'd turn twenty and more..

currently playing>> smells like teen spirit, tori amos remake
im feeling>> duty ko unya gbii, kapoie huna2x..

Summer rotation is over, and on this day, I am officially a senior, having had myself enrolled already. Yep, I am finally going to graduate next year. And oh boy, I can't wait. Wheee!ü I consider myself not busy anymore so here I am, going back to my regular routine of blogging, multiplying, friendstering, myspacing, emailing and basically just internet-hours-wasting.. This is the life. No school, no NCPs, no SOAPIEs, no PAs, no drug studies, no homework, no quizzes, no irritating CIs to think about. Just sleep, lakwatsa, tv, laag, and what’s left of my summer before I get confined with school work again.

Just a few thoughts on my 2006 summer:

>> The Out-Patient-Department of CCMC’s not bad for a public hospital. Nice staff, scary TB-positive patients.

>> The beach is a fun place to be when you’re with the people you love. And tequila tastes a whole lot better when you’re in a group of four people and there are only two of you who drink. Haha, simang lageh nih?

>> I just recently discovered that my satiety level has decreased. This ought to be a good thing since it helps to lose weight (less food intake = less calories), but the thing that I’m concerned of is because this isn’t me anymore!ü Haha, my family and friends get alarmed with the little amount of food on my plate.

>> I found myself to being more responsible. If I was naning sa una, samot ko ka naning karon. And I enjoy being like this. And that’s weird.

>> I always say that the best parts of the movies are their trailers. It still is. Until recently, after three action/sci-fi flicks, I realized that the trailers are more fun when you have people around to share it with, and a shoulder to lean your head on, and a hand to hold.

>> My parents still won’t allow me to learn how to drive. While all my groupmates are bringing their own wheels during late night shifts at the hospital, I’m stuck with riding a cab or hitching a ride from them.

>> I loathed the day I’d turn twenty, but now that I already did, it doesn’t make any difference, really. Nothing has changed, I’m still the same bratty me who needs to grow up. Yep, I didn’t consider last May 09 to be my twentieth birthday, but my ninth 12th birthday instead. I’ll forever be stuck in this age.ü

>> Nindot na message ay: “Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else..” Hi thwee-yiw-owd boie!ü

>> My high school barkada is home for the summer, and I have happy times with them, just like our sci-hi yagit2x days. It’s nice to know that things still haven’t changed among us, except maybe for a few girls here and there, but all’s well. We miss you love, laag na sunod with us, ha?

>> They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. And I agree..ü It’s just that sometimes, absence makes the heart lose interest too. =’(

Welpz, so far, this has been a summer of bloody wounded people, kids who scream when they have their wounds sewn, motor vehicular accidents, stabbed drunken men, gangmen-shot-on-the-back-by-the-enemy who arrive dead on arrival, dying old diabetic women, perverted nurses-on-duty, kitoy-kitoya ang atngal misis or bila, misis, BILA! words of encouragement to women in labor, screaming OB residents who curse the pregnant women that anger them, good-looking resident surgeons, meconium-stained ugly newborn babies, new formed friendships, strengthened friendships, ended friendships, reunions with lost ones, corny text messages, good movies, plenty food and drinks, graduating friends (hi toni, tibay, lime, mac2x, peter, joko and the rest of the CITE ppl), birthdays, new born nieces, beach, sun, and fun..ü

I still have more or less fifteen days to enjoy what’s left of my summer..

Someone’s coming home in June. We’ll see what will happen from there.

For now, I will close my eyes and dream about the stars in the skies, I’m a princess in disguise, he’ll be my angel tonight, I’ll come take his hand and together we’ll rise to the heavens above..

*meymee maktin*

sophia's world..

currently playing>> one by u2
im feeling>> happy! hehe, its my ninth twelfth birthday tomorrow! *wink* whee.ü

this is what has been keeping me busy this past few days..
it was eight am when my eldest sister cathy texted me that she has been having contractions 8 minutes apart since three am. i didnt take her seriously. instead, i just told her to hold the baby til my birthday (which is tomorrow na by the way), may 9. at twelve noon, tito mertz, her husband, informed us that she was brought to the hospital already. since her first pregnancy was via cesarean section, this baby also had to go through one. so there, at 3:13 in the afternoon, i had my ninth pamangkin: sophia.

not that i dont like the name, but its too common already, and for several other reasons.. hehe.ü we tried convincing her to think of something else, but they weren't expecting the baby to arrive this weekend either.

too bad i wasnt on duty at this time, but my schoolmates were. one of my highschool barkada shilai, was assigned to take care of her. better her than someone else.ü i had her picture taken by one of my friends who was on duty too. cute kid. chubby and pink. an angel.. but as usual, my dad's genes has proved its prominence again..

i wish her well into the world she still has yet to discover. today, she's enjoying being told stories of color and warmth. tomorrow, she'll be chasing butterflies..

a happy birthday to me tomorrow!ü

baby shampoos for a crybaby..

currently playing>> jeepney by spongecola..
im feeling>> hurt, aching, longing.. =(

never have i felt so weak before in my life than i did last night. and up to now, the wounds are still so raw. how come when heartaches were introduced, they didnt invent it with the no-tear-formula that baby shampoos are made of?

i am a crybaby. been one for as long as i can remember. i get teary-eyed over the most petty things. i cried during my high school graduation. i cried the first time i was able to witness a baby being born to the world. i cried when i lost the elections for school president in grade six. i cried when my older brother left for the states. i cried when i had a fight with my dad two afternoons ago. i cried when dylan cried over his finger that got caught in the car door. i cried when i broke my wrist during one of my sessions in karate when i was in grade three. i cried when i saw how proud my mom was to see me on stage delivering a speech of thanks in behalf of the entire graduating class during my elementary graduation. i cried when i got picked on by some friends in high school. i even cry over those sappy melodramas that they show on the big screen or on tv. but now i cry because i can't just stop the world and melt with him.

yep. i am a crybaby. and i might owe it to the fact that i was already four years old when my mom started buying johnson's baby shampoo for me. prior to that, i remember crying when my dad would give me a bath because he made sure that he soaped every inch of me, and that meant my face included. and getting soap in my eyes always made me cry.

it's funny how one thinks how easy it is to get over feelings for someone.

one minute, i feel it's there, freeing me of all the pain. it's fresh. blissful. it haunts my soul like warm rays of sunshine, replacing the blood in my veins. and just when im already starting to enjoy the warmth, i suddenly find myself waking up to a series of tidal waves, crashing down on me from nowhere, drowning my senses and bringing me back to reality. it's cold. livid. it hurts. ouch.

im not the type of person who gives up easily. i hold on, as much as i can, but i learn to let go when i noe i have lost the fight. melancholy would settle in, yes, but it would only last for a while. and i need just enough for me to feel the numb, enough to give me strength to swim out of that stuporic state of doldrums.

but i smile. i live for rollercoasters like these that reassure me that i am human, capable of emotions. it's what keeps me alive. it's what keeps me sane. in a stage where pimple-causing raging hormones are not under my control, i find myself grinning like a kid who got a perfect ten plus three stars on a spelling quiz after giving the teacher a juicy red apple.

pain will always be unavoidable, but nobody said that it wouldnt be bearable.

i still try hard not to get shampoo in my eyes so that it wouldnt sting. and i make sure that i close my eyes every time i wash my face. if only avoiding heartaches were as simple as these, i wouldnt be looking for baby shampoos all the time.

nagging parents and the philippines' judiciary system.

currently playing>> rules of a happy marriage by the ambassadors..
im feeling>> pissed.

i woke up to another one of my parents' nagging. great. what a way to start the day. i hate it when they continuously bug me coz it makes me want to gara, just to piss them off all the more. and when i do, i then receive the satisfaction of more nags, screams, walk-outs and slamming doors. as if i care! doi, satisfaction ganeh!ü

and then i arrive to a courtroom, as usual, earlier than the judge. the judge who never comes on time, despite the many instances that i make langay, he still comes in later than i do. haha. way to go, judge! so there i read the human comedy by william saroyan while waiting for good ol' judge to arrive. and what greets me? information stating that the fiscal isnt around, and no word has come from the public prosecutor's office authorizing the court to proceed with the prosecution even without him. damn. another wasted day. why? bcoz the justice system of the philippines is soo lame, it makes me not want to proceed with med school to pursue law. in a country where red tape is its chief dialect, it needs idealistic youngbloods like me to make the necessary changes it has long been overdue.

but sometimes, no, MOST OF THE TIME, the "not-wanting-to-care" part of me overrules the aktibista in me. hahay, unsa man gyud?

akong gugmang dako pas kalibutan..

currently playing>> only one, yellow card. emo mode.. tsk.
im feeling>> disappointed, but not totally betrayed.


school is officially over, but this week has served as another learning experience for me. particularly that of last saturday's happenings. i realized that some things will never be. i must have realized it too late. and that's the bad part. too late. the good thing bowt it is, at least i realized it soon enough. haha. okei, anlaaabooohh!!!

one, you can only count on sooo few people in this world. and most of the time, the people you consider as friends are the ones who betray you the most. its either they use you for their greater glory, or, they just use you.

two, the most unexpected people are the ones who make you laugh the most. the ones you ask to for help are too busy to make you smile. a real messy beautiful, twisted sunshine..

three, quote unquote from badz: "you can only truly fall in love with one person. and the others? well, they just make your heart beat. you'll get to meet a lot of people but there's only one to whom you'll fully give your heart.." true? TRUE! asa naman akong thweeyiwowdboi oiee?? :((

four, i proved that hula2x is not true. mugna ra gyud na cla. remember when i posted something on palmreading (year end, year start na entry)? bowt what kuya rey said bowt whats goin to happen dz year? well i proved him wrong.. sayup ang iya mga gipang say. wala pakoi na ilhan na tao na iya gi mention ato na "hula".. but heck, its still the first quarter of the year. a lot can happen..

five, sadness is the absence of happiness. doi! seriously, sir januar must have been right when he told me that im already leaning towards the negative end of the mental health-illness continuum. tsk tsk..

six, its already a month or so before i turn twenty. il now be saying goodbye to my yagit2x teen years. but im not ready to grow up yet! *whine* :( face reality, char..

seven, suicide is not something you jowk about, especially when its friends who are of concern.. it is not funny. but i should have learned. i took this up in psych nursing. when will i learn that suicidal ideations are but mere forms of just gathering attention? to be of concern, but not enough reason to splurge load and tears on. And that was blow number one.

eight, half is half.

nine, usahay sa larsian magsakit ang tiyan.. (bibliography: insoy, suroy-suroy, 2003) true, how true.. more on the body's somatic reaction to stress and anxiety.

ten, gary v. shouldnt join kamikazee on stage. ever. its bad image for the band.

eleven, the beach is therapeutic. aside from psychological and emotional healing, it really helps in alleviating cough and colds. but with alcohol and nicotine present, expect the otherwise. two positive forces negate effects.

twelve, i noticed that i have changed a lot this past few days. ive become more patient, and ive learned to control my temper more. change for the better, so to speak, but this isnt me. ive tried so hard, sooo hard.. but to no avail. coz it is he who has changed for the worse. hez not the same person i fell in love with last week and two weeks ago. kinsa man ni siya??

thirteen, moving forward, using all my breath.. making love to you was never second best.. the song! THAAH SOOONNGGG!!! damn the song. i should erase this from my player. but for some reason, i just cant.

fourteen, upload pictures earlier. engk. wrong. clear out pc files earlier. aron mahuna.hunaAn ug sayo kung mag upload ug pics bah or dili. crap. i should have sorted out my pc last march 31. why now?? aaahhh. now i only have less than 20 slots left for pictures in my multiply. the world is going to end nah. ;p

fifteen, its the third day of the month again. another lonely third day of the month. and it sucks. i should just get back to reading.

and lastly, the final blow.. i realized that we would never be.. never comprehending the race was long gone by..

me and my tagboard.ü

currently playing>> everything by lifehouse.
im feeling>> happy.ü

after four months and 11 days of (supposed) blogging, i now have a tagboard!ü congratulations to me! :D ive a friend who's been continuously prodding me to put up a tagboard since the main reason why she isnt putting comments is bcoz she finds it too much of a hassle to click the comment link below an entry. TAPULAN KA CHAI!!!ü but i thank you just the same for giving me the idea to put it. ;) and i agree, it sure is a little convenient, though its only been just me who has posted in it. haha. pathetic me.

virginity and politics

currently playing>> akin ka na lang by the itchyworms..
im feeling>> "in the monday blues"


*another one i came up with during class. man, i hafta stop drifting off. (hehe, ahh! mura man nay sakit sa utok..)*


27 february 2006
8:42 AM
Anatomy Room
Psychiatric Nursing Class

we're currently discussing emotional responses and mood disorders, and dr. lopez mentioned about us being in the monday blues syndrome. i really havent put much thought about monday blues, but ive always heard marlo talking about bein in that state (only, he called his "monday morning sickness"..) everytime he gets to work during mondays. and come to think of it, i may be feeling that now. a hangover from the weekend.

aside from that, i feel soo sore.. i have bruises all over my body. in my arms, legs, chest, my right temple, and even in the groin area. and this is all bcoz of what happened last saturday night. damn. remind me to never do that again. ever.

my dad came home with a bottle of virgin coconut oil yesterday and he insisted that i take it as part of my dietary supplement this morning. in my mind, i was thinking, "why should i? is this supposed to make me a virgin again? let alone make me feel like one?" hihihi.. >=D *evil grin* wala lang.. the thought just popped into my head since my instructor has just slightly, unconsciously, brought up a little talk on premarital sex. but seriously, unsay gamit anang virgin coconut oil? it may just be another fad like the previous lactobacillus was. somebody enlighten my mind please. im too lazy to do research.

the class discussion has slowly shifted into current events. about what is happening to the philippines at the moment. the whole scenario is depressing me. it makes me want to leave and never return to this godforsaken country. with much due respect to the president, she noes what she has to do to stop all this gubot bcoz in the first place, shez the very reason why it is happening. shez just too stubborn to do what everyone noes would be best for the nation. if she has any concern left for this country, she should do it soon. shez even accusin people and having them arrested. pathetic, paranoid, little bitch. this is exactly happened when marcos' power got into his head, thus making him lust for more. putting the country in a state of emergency is just the beginning of gloria's greed and selfishness. history is about to repeat itself.

but as always, the filipino people never learn. we are never contented. be it gma or whoever it is in authority, there would still be those who would be against them, question their legitimacy, destroy them, try to put them out of power and demand that their candidate is better than the one currently in position. and this isnt new anymore. the filipinos always never learn. sad.

okei. nag yaw2x nako.

anyhow, on a happier note, setting depressing and dirty politics aside, i have the feeling that im not paying attention to my lessons anymore. tsk tsk tsk. bad, baby baktin, bad!ü but can you blame me if discussions like this really bore the hell out me? haha. talk about using the defense mechanism Rationalization. (Rationalization - offering a socially acceptable or apparently logical explanation to justify or make acceptable otherwise unacceptable impulses, feelings, behaviors and motives. Principles and Practice of Psychiatric Nursing, 8th edition, Stuart and Laraia, page 269.) see, im even applying nah what i have learned from this class!ü *wink*

haaay. i cant wait for the finals to be over. i can soo feel my finaly year under my nose nah. :D but before that, i have the summer to attent to first! yeeeey!ü beach fun under the sun!ü (whoever thought that i can rhyme too? :p)

cheap thrills in syarlen's life..ü

currently playing>> island of love by big mountain is on my playlist..
im feeling>> i want to pee!!! hehe.ü


i have a busy life. well, at least i believe that i do. having to manage time between school, studying for exams, lakwatsa, sleep, inom sessions and family bondings, i make it a point that in whatever i do, or in whatever experience i come in contact with, i am happy. and that's easy. bcoz for someone like me, MABAW MAN KO UG KALIPAY!ü so making and keeping me happy shouldnt be a problem..

here are just some of the few things that make me happy:

[x] sleeping early and waking up real late..
[x] waking up at dawn just in time to get ready for school. or waking up at exactly 5am and realizing that i still have 30 minutes for additional sleep before i have to heat my water to take a bath.ü
[x] snoozing in between classes when the teacher isnt around.. power naps!ü
[x] early afternoon siestas..ü
[x] actually, just sleep.
[x] receiving emails or phone calls or text messages from jan2x. he. is. my. happiness.
[x] lazy instructors who arrive late for class or duty, allow us to laze around in the ward, give extra long breaktimes, postpone their exams, or cancel their classes. yey!ü
[x] monday afternoon world lit classes.. *wink* ü
[x] meeting new people.
[x] not having to wait long for a jeepney. or boarding a not full jeepney. and no traffic. =D
[x] fast internet connections.
[x] receiving text messages from unexpected people.ü
[x] getting drunk. hangovers always give me a euphoric feeling.. minus the uneasy tummy and labad head.
[x] keeping the change when im bein sent out on buying errands.
[x] early morning sunrise.. i may be a cynic, but yeah.. i love the feeling of "new hope" ;)
[x] late afternoon sunsets..ü
[x] extra long movie trailers!ü
[x] being able to watch a movie in the premiere section even if the tickets bought are for the de luxe.ü woOhoo.. long live tanga watchers.ü
[x] reading a really, really good book. or narrative. or story. or newspaper article.
[x] cute, funny bumper stickers.ü
[x] being able to illegally download a full album of mp3s at less time.ü 1st time this happened, i got the ultraelectromagneticjam. and that took me two days of early morning studying.. (i dont burn cds. i just do so for my own consumption and not for piracy..)
[x] having a crush every now and then.
[x] quarreling, bitching, or just the plain feeling of screaming at someone..
[x] getting a good grade at a test i didnt prepare for. ;)
[x] getting a good grade at a test i prepared for..ü
[x] sleeping in between answering final exams. nursing exam questions are really boring, i tell you..
[x] the beach! i love the beach. i wanna be a beach bum! i wanna live near the beach..ü just neglect the fact that i dont noe how to swim. lol =D
[x] getting a visit from izza and dylan..ü
[x] waking up scared on a late saturday morning thinking that its a schoolday and im already late and then laughing at myself after realizing that its a weekend after all and that it was a false alarm and that i dont have classes.ü
[x] getting frequent bear hugs..
[x] corny jokes.ü mabaw kog kalipay, i swear..ü i laugh at anything..
[x] bumping into my world lit teacher in campus or elsewhere.. and not having the courage to greet him. heheü
[x] having a full meal.ü
[x] burping after having a full meal.ü
[x] not having to hear any cueshe song in a single day.
[x] being of help to other people. ;) i happen to be an angel too..
[x] chocolates!!!ü in any form, size, shape, brand.. im a sucker for chocolates!ü
[x] getting away with something. wahihi.ü
[x] breaking stupid people's hearts.. ;)
[x] receiving a package from my brother in the states..
[x] the rain! really strong rains.ü i love taking a bath in the rain..ü
[x] having a friend buy me something for snacks. boy bawang will do.ü
[x] not having to wait long in a counter to pay for my stuff..
[x] really nice cinematography, graphics, colors..ü
[x] hearing my favorite songs played on the radio..
[x] finishing my projects, assignments or studying days before deadline.. ;)
[x] the smell of my newly washed clothes..
[x] having a fun talk with someone on the phone..
[x] catching friends online sa ym..
[x] being able to come up with something creative, for my blog, for a school project, bastah. whenever i get to make use of my creative juices, it makes me happy.ü
[x] being given what i want, at the time i want it.. ;) brat??
[x] reciting in class. letting out what's on my mind.
[x] when discussing answers in an exam (cheating in layman's terms), and i have an opposite answer from my discussion-mate, and he insists that his is correct, getting the right answer after checking makes me happy. and evil. (kai mu laugh man ko saku cheatmate.. dah! nanu btaw wa ni sunod saku answer! :P)
[x] trusting my instincts..
[x] being asked help from..
[x] accepting testimonials in friendster and comments in myspace, and friend requests sad.ü
[x] being able to smoke while drinking. ;i
[x] crying at a really good, sappy movie..ü
[x] CAMWHORING!!! and getting really really good results..ü
[x] remembering something funny and laughing to myself. or remembering something funny and suddenly laughing aloud and people look at me as if im crazy..
[x] laughing at some silly message sent to me on my fon, and again, having people look at me as if im crazy.. hihi.=D
[x] OR experience!!! talk about hottie doctors..ü
[x] and hottie doctors sa ward sad..ü
[x] eating cotton candy!
[x] hearing good music..
[x] spending big for an entrance to a concert, but then again, getting my money's worth for a good performance.ü
[x] hearing bamboo's sunshine song! yey, i was able to download it nah..ü whee!
[x] bear hugs! kisses on the forehead. kisses on the nose. kisses on the ear and neck (or licks will do. haha. erogenous zones.. ;p). and sloppy kisses.ü
[x] reggae! lift me up. take me high.
[x] spotting really cute earrings in bazaar stalls all over the mall..ü
[x] having my picture taken..
[x] looking at the mirror and seeing a beautiful goddess..ü
[x] having my blog read.
[x] eating siomai.. and getting one free..
[x] losing a few pounds now and then..
[x] being told that i am loved.. and cared for..
[x] seeing cute little pink things..
[x] butterflies! pigs! pink and green. buttercup. piglet!ü
[x] getting something new..
[x] the satisfaction i get after cleaning my room or washing my clothes..
[x] treating myself to food..
[x] holding hands with someone i love..
[x] not having to wait long for my unlimited texting to be activated..
[x] getting into a very heated argument, and winning.ü
[x] seeing a really hot, pretty and sexy chick.. (lageh, tomboy na lageh ko. geh lang tomboy, gwapa man. bigaon pa gyud.. ;p)
[x] being bought something from the supermarket when doing groceries with my mom..
[x] making kikik and getting away with it.. yikesss!! magabaan gyud ko ani bah.. tsk tsk..
[x] having my heart broken (breaking up with jan2x or having a fight with him..) then crying hard.. then getting back with him again. hihi.ü god, i miss him so much.. :(
[x] being able to save a lot from my week's allowance, then spending it during the weekend..ü
[x] white roses!
[x] fireworks!
[x] friday or saturday night laags and coming home early in the morning just before my parents wake up..ü
[x] receiving sad kowtz.. hehe, di man gud ko ka relate sa ilang heartache mao na ma happy ko!ü
[x] dreaming my grand grand GRAND wedding..ü
[x] just dreaming.
[x] not having my white shoes, or my whole white uniform dirty, when it rains early morning when im on the way to the hospital..
[x] reading really lame soapie charts from other schools.. hehe.ü
[x] answering boring surveys on friendster or myspace when im bored.. ;p
[x] the triumphant feeling i get after making poo-poo..ü

there. one hundred things should do for now.. but there's more than just those hundred that make me happy.. surprise me. i love surprises. they make me happy too..ü

useless caffeinated drink..

currently playing>> superproxy by francis magalona in my ultraelectromagneticjam playlist :D
im feeling>> hmm. my hands are tired from writing :(


this is something i came up with kanina in class..


22 february 2006
8:37 AM
room 330, nursing applied science class 3

same old crap. different day.

god, i hate my pathophysio class. its the most boring class ive ever encountered in my entire life, i swear. and to think it's supposed to be one of interest, considering that it studies how diseases come to happen, but this one's really different. it gives a whole new meaning to the word boring!

as far as i can remember, there wasnt a time when i would be studying for this class' exams that i wouldnt doze off in between chapters.. and to think that im a very naning student. geez.

im in the middle of another patho lecture, and yeah, im bored to death. im trying so had to keep my upper eyelids at place in the ocular sinus of my skull, where it should be: UP and OPEN, praying hard that my orbicularis oculi muscles and my cranial nerves 2, 3, 4 and 5 wont betray me at this time. the coffee i brought in the my dad's thermos isnt even taking effect. im reading my notes, trying to review for this afternoon's unit test, but the more i feel the urge to snooze. man, i sooo miss my bed!

so here i am, confined to this old, ugly, dirty, vandalism-full, wooden armchair (that should've been junked ages ago), hearing (NOT listening to) the droning voice of my clinical instructor, keeping myself awake by texting, and obviously writing this thing. even my seatmates are no good at this time too.

god, i am soo bored. help me out of this hell. please.

the goddess, a movie star? hehe.ü

currently playing>> stick with you sa pussycat dolls..
im feeling>> pissed.. (im in a fit with sidney, pisti-pistihon ba ko?)

im supposedly in a good mood. but im hellah pissed gyud! dili pa ganeh uyab, awayon nako! unsa nlng kaha if uyab nah? atay!

but setting bad moods aside, here's something from tickle (i dont like the results though.. pero okei lang, the ass is more important.ü):

Charlene goddess ü, your movie star double is Jennifer Lopez

A magnetic maven like you needs to be played by someone who knows how to get an audience's attention — and keep it. That's why Jennifer Lopez would be a great leading lady in the movie of your life. You've got a certain star quality that makes people applaud whatever you decide to put your energy into. Regardless of whether you match J Lo's glamorous look, her mega-diva glow will help translate your stunning charisma to the silver screen.

Back in high school, were you the one in the spotlight — star of the school play, student council president, and popular girl around town? Well, with your charms, you should have been. There's just something about you that has people screaming for more. But that's a good thing since you probably thrive when you're being social, surrounded by people, or getting out and about.

If some people perceive you as high maintenance, you can just tell them that you have high expectations. If you're willing to work so hard on yourself, why can't other people do the same? So get ready for the new cast in the movie of your life headed by none other than J Lo herself.

ive been sent this quiz by a lot of friends, but its only now that i took time to open it. c kuya eimer man gud ang nag send. :p anyway, his results show na benjamin bratt daw xa? haha. i doubt.ü (patay ko anih if he reads this. lol)

syarLen blabs..

currently playing>> palagot sa kontra by phylum is playing on smash ryt now.. :D
im feeling>> exhausted. its after midterms and i feel so drained.. :(

this is the part wherein i talk, and you have to read. :p basically, since im blabbing, imMa be talkin bowt me. random things that you might noe already, or dont, or dont want to find out. whatever it is, your choice.ü

[x] lets start with the name. my name is charlene michelle. i dunno where or why my parents gave me that name, but it is in the initials of C and M since everyone of brothers and sisters have names beginning with the same initials.
[x] its pronounced as SHAR-leeeeen (as in, long E sound), and it sucks when people say it as tsar.. murder my name, will you? that's why the nickie "syarlen" was coined so you'd get the idea of how my name is properly bein pronounced.. as for other people calling me "cha-cha", fine. no problem with that. just make sure you get the whole name right.
[x] i am a bonafide nerd.. yep.ü i graduated valedictorian in elementary from the university of san carlos - girls, and i finished eleventh in my graduating class in sci hi. dean's lister in my 1st and 2nd year in college, but i admit that things are getting harder as i am approaching my last year, so most probably, i wont be part of the dean's list anymore.. :( but nevertheless, i still get satisfactory grades. (exactly the reason why my parents allow me to have night outs!ü)
[x] i was, and in some ways, still am, a boyband person. i watched the moffatts concert when i was in grade six. and i have loved the backstreet boys' songs since grade four. hahaha. my taste has improved since then, but that's okei. they're the only boybands that i support. :p to hell with cueshe.
[x] i drink, i smoke, and do rock and roll. i started to drink as early as grade four under the influence of my sisters who would sometimes have drinking sessions with their friends here at home. but i began with mild drinks only, at that time it was only island lime and gin, until it progressed to red horse with high school and college friends.ü occasionally, and when my sisters have money, we have swigs of tequila, vodka or baileys. i started smoking only during 1st year college, and i have youseff to thank for getting me into the habit. but mind you, i only smoke when i drink. and yep, my parents are aware of my drinking habits. its the smoking that they dont know (or know, i know they do), and do not tolerate. rock and roll? its out of the question. sex is good too. *wink*
[x] i am a sucker for chocolates. give me some and il make you my world.ü haha, where the hell did that come from?
[x] i hate tomboys. in my own definition, they're girls, acting like boys, dressing up like them, feeling like them. they have suicidal tendencies, they are insecure. they have low self esteem with a disturbance in body image. i hate them. i have a phobia of them. i have nothing against girl-girl relationships, but dont you think its hotter if two hot, beautiful, sexy girls are into each other? its yucky looking at a couple, one a girl, the other a trying-hard-to-be-a-boy..
[x] i believe that marriage is a waste of time, effort and money. all of my sisters have kids, are with the fathers of their kids, but remain unmarried. i believe in its impracticality. but i am going to get married myself (haha, ironic?). someday. with my one great love: Jan Eric Ylanan.ü we are going to get married someday. in fact, i already have our grand, grand, GRAND wedding planned in mind. and i cant wait. :)
[x] i still sleep in between my parents, in their beds, in their bedroom.
[x] i havent tasted ketchup or mayonnaise yet. ugh. no intentions to. everytime i eat burgers, i make sure that its hot sauce that is placed in it, and not otherwise.
[x] i have a passion for writing. but i only usually write when forced to, like for assignments, etc.
[x] i am a self-confessed flirt. and the best person to flirt with in the whole world is my 3 year old boy, jan2x..ü come to think of it, i miss flirting with him nah.. :( he'll be home on june nah! yey!ü
[x] i heart pink. its the cutest color in the world.ü
[x] i have psoriasis. :( its a non-communicable skin disease that i was born with. its hereditary, meaning, it runs in the genes. my older sister has it too. it has no cure yet, but it can be prevented and maintained. i have two topical applications for it, both steroids, and vitamin E has to be in my diet everyday.
[x] i wanted to be a priest when i was younger. heck, i even wanted to join the knights of the altar (sacristans) organization in my school and in the parish. and i was very disappointed and frustrated when i had to sink in to the truth that only boys can be priests. where the hell is the justice in that?! equal rights for women, hello!!!
[x] mabaw kog kalipay. im easy to please, i easily laugh over the littlest of things and the corniest jokes.
[x] my mom calls me a "retard"..ü haha. they say that it's bcoz i pick fights with my younger nieces and nephews pah. haha.ü
[x] i love to eat. its the next best thing to sleeping.ü and speaking of sleep, i always have a marathon in sleeping most especially during weekends. the longest hours of sleep that i got was 17 hours straight.ü
[x] everytime i go to the mall, i always make sure that i get to buy cotton candy or a thirsty shake. i havent been to a mall if i dont get any for myself. ;p it tickles my fancy.ü
[x] i believe myself to be a well read person, and i have my mom and my eldest sister to thank for that, for exposing me early to the classics. i read my first classic novel when i was 6 years old, that was the wuthering heights. and since then, my preferences of books have changed and improved.
[x] i only had two drunken moments in the past year.ü im funny when im drunk. i prefer to be that than to be miserable.
[x] i am an emo person. though not the hard core type. there's just some times that i choose to go senti.
[x] i love making friends and being in the company of them. they're the next best thing to jan2x and my family.ü
[x] i have crushes on pretty, sexy, "hubag" girls..ü
[x] i already tried smoking weed. once. and i didnt feel any different. was it really weed that i smoked??
[x] i have two piercings on both ears. i plan to have another one by the time i graduate. i want a belly ring too. and perhaps a tattoo on my right shoulder, navel or just above the cleavage of butt. but im not sure yet. there have been speculations that it having tattoos or multiple ear piercings makes it difficult going out of the country.
[x] i am a procrastinator. haha. i have to get rid of this attitude, fast!ü
[x] i dreamed of becoming a pediatrician when i grow up, but after my exposure to the OR of vicente sotto, i realized that being a neurosurgeon is a whole lot cooler and challenging.ü cardio is also another option im looking into.
[x] i shave my pubic hair at least once a month. usually the first day of the month. it's hygiene.ü

to be continued. i'll just post again new things once in a while..

obssessing over rico..ü

currently playing>> bye bye nah by rivermaya (im so caught up with the rivermaya spirit..ü)
im feeling>> hmm.. horny (oops, pardon the language. dont freak out, mom!ü) over rico blanco.ü laf2x..

its five am, and i just got home, semi-drunk, but still thinking straight.. came from the saulog concert featuring rivermaya and a few cebuano bands namely phylum, aggressive audio, the ambassadors, urban dub and two other more that i wasnt able to catch. every year, i always look forward to sinulog coz its the only time that i am able to see my hubby rico. lolx.ü if im lucky, they come during jamaican nights.. and i get to see him again. haha. i am in love with rico blanco. i have been following their songs ever since i was in grade 2 or 3, along with the eheads. and i have my sisters to thank for their influence.ü i heart bamboo too, but i just think that rico is a whole lot cuter..

although in the middle of their set, they experienced a technical difficulty (ni buto ang usa sa main equipments nila sa kilid) that caused them to stop for awhile, they came back after a few seconds to rock our world again. haha.

i love rico. we have to get married soon. he is exactly the type of man that my mom is looking for for me. i have to bring him home. lolx.ü

anyway, here's a picture of him from the 2004 sinulog.ü imMa upload some again later of last night's event.ü



b
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vanity is DEFINITELY not a sin!

currently playing>> blue moon by mxpx
im feeling>> hungry :( shit, how difficult it is when youre dieting..

i was just replying to jan2x earlier with exactly the same subject. i emailed him the vanity thing wherein i got a perfect hundred and he reacted in the way he usually reacts when he teases me bowt being vain. i was just explaining to him that its okei to be vain, and i based it on the following premises (im just going to use me since this is my point of view, im basically talking bout myself, so the use of the first person):

[one] i definitely want to look good all the time. look good - in every sense of the phrase. of course, you would want to check once in a while if there's dirt on any part of your face, if you got food particles stuck in your teeth, if you have "muta" on the inner canthuses of your eyes, if your hair is still in place and your make-up intact (oily noses and shiny foreheads are a big NO-NO!) or if you just plain look good. and yup, having clean shoes and feet is a must! i dont want to look funny to other people, let alone my boyfriend.

[two] being vain gives me the assurance that my boyfriend will pay attention to me and ONLY ME and that he is never going to leave me and trade me for someone else bcoz im already beautiful. why would he find someone new when im already the most beautiful gurl in his life? and he wouldnt have to worry about me being stolen by other guys. being admired by other people (other than the boyfriend) is part of the cheap thrills of looking good, but im not being vain for them, right? he shouldnt be scared of competition bcoz he has already won. i love my boyfriend, and thats exactly the reason why i want to be pretty in the first place. enough said.

[three] it is okei to love yourself! God, through Jesus Christ said: "love thy neighbor as you love thy self". and He said it perfectly Himself! LOVE THY SELF! see? it's okei to love myself. but i should love my neighbors too. heheü and besides, how can i give love and love others if i dont love myself first? that's a rule of nature! you should be able love yourself first before you can be able to give love to the people about you. even whitney houston sang it just right: "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.." stated still in the song, loving yourself IS the greatest love all, no questions asked. the best thing about it is that, it is easy to achieve. and i am proud to say that i have already mastered and perfected that lesson.ü *wink*

**okei, that last one was a pretty lame excuse, but still! its justifiable! it supports my point! heheü

i stopped at three. but i noe that i could go on and on and on and on.. but it would still boil down to one point: it is okei to be vain.

and speaking of being vain, take a look at this:




camwhoring + uyab = happy, HAPPY me!ü

now who was he calling vain again?! üüü

life..ü

currently playing>> huwag kang matakot by the eheads
im feeling>> grr, gurgly. im having my first day of menstruation and i hate it.



one of my attempts at paint. lol :D

Year End - Year Start ü

i had a blast last night (slash, dawn?!)!!! me and my college friends: charee, marte, james, lloyd, saul, jan karina, kissy and jack went to MF's christmas party at san carlos heights.. it was a fun experience, getting to meet new people (i have new friends! jimmy the emperador floater tanggero from jimmycycle and ryan from indiephums, so to name a few), hearing good music and bonding with friends. bisrock bands jimmycylce, phylum, blood of stone, mantekilya and indiephums played alongside missing filemon as well.. although most of the crowd were band members and friends, only a few listers from the mf yahoogroup showed up. and okei, i developed a crush on eduard. haha. and its totally his fault coz he made me have that crush on him with his friendliness. *laf2x* cocoy brought his gurl during the early moments of the evening, and nope, it didnt break my heart to see them together. when she left and he came back after bringing her home, well, charee continues to maintain that he keeps on staring at me, wherein i beg to disagree since its totally not true. take note, i already drank two varieties of alcoholic beverages here already, red horse and emperador (ugh! :p)

after the party, we headed to c24 to catch up with my former classmates from high school. and i enjoyed being there as well.. badz was acting bitchy again, but she gave me capris so it makes up the whole thing.. hahaü and she allowed me to apply mascara on her. :p i totally missed being with this guys.. they're my memories of a fun high school life..ü and im glad that we havent outgrown the childish attitudes in us. imagine, we started to have a throwing session?! which i actually started.. heheü while we were there, ron2x texted me to join them in NCR (its a sidewalk convenience store on the way to ayala coming from mango area) and insoy also called me up to join them.

we went there after a while, and at this time, i was a bit drunk already after having drunk a full glass shot of red horse and around 4 to 5 full glasses of island lime and gsm blue. cocoy, eimer, kuya rey (hihi.ü) and a drunk insoy lying on mavick's lap were there. i was given another full shot of red horse by cocoy and i think this was what made me more drunk. ugh. at this time, insoy had to leave, and i tried to stop him (haha, i was really acting weird and funny nah at this time). anyhoo, when he left, we were the ones left there. and dunoe what and how it happened, but me and cocoy started to mess around.. i have pictures of us on my fon! *laf2x* and i started lying on his lap coz i was really drunk na by this time. and i told him i wanted to go puke, and noe what? he helped me puke. aww.. that was really sweet of him.ü and he asked me to rest in eimer's pick up. and what's sweeter is that he sat down there with me. and yeah, we started to kiss again.. and.. i liked it. he. is. a. good. kisser. *laf2x*

in the middle of our resting, drunken moments, i saw kuya rey reading charee's palms so i decided that i wanted to have mine read too! and oh.my.god. i think that what he was saying about me was really true. he said that i have a lot of pretensions daw, like i pretend to be happy, blah2x.. okei, maybe this pretension part is kinda true, but not really. lets just say that i force myself to be strong and happy even when the situation doesnt call for being strong and happy.. and he mentioned love life. he said that there are several guys involved in my life already now, but not one of them is showing or giving back the love that i am giving them. (and oh no. i think this includes jan2x :c) and he said that this year, i am going to finally meet him nah. the guy who's gonna give me back my love and even more than what im showing him. i felt sad bcoz it opened a truth that i have long tried to avoid. ngah dili c jan2x.. pero still, there's a possibility that there cant be truth in it, right? i mean it cant be really accurate.. so when i got back to the pick up, i stayed there with cocoy and did the thing most appropriate to do at that moment: sleep.

at 6am, they finally decided to go home. and omg. 6am? man! thats the latest that ive ever been out (since evening that is.) *laf2x* i slept whole day after arriving home. okei, i woke up for lunch. :p

when i woke up at around 6pm, i started sending out my new year's greetings to the people in my phonebook. i was surprised when marlo (hez also a lister from the mf ygroup) replied to me. and after exchanging a few more text messages, we decided to meet up since we just happen to be neighbors. and when we met, welpz, lets just say that hez not really the man of my dreams, but he is cute, that much i admit. we started texting each other there on after until new year and until he ran out of load. hehe, luoy.ü and he is, erm, sweet.. shit. and it made me think over of what kuya rey read of my palms. could it be true? and is he the one? no!! unsaon nalang naku c jan eric? =(

putting drunken moments, hangovers, unfaithfulness, revelations and prophecies behind, i had a fun new year celebration. well maybe not as fun as the previous years when we were still complete in the family (not that we werent complete now, but my sisters and their kids had to leave early..). things change, and we have to adjust to change and move on..

so thats it. what a way to end and start the year, huh? 2005 has been a great year for me, considering all the events that have happened to me this year. i have a lot to thank and a lot to be happy for..ü and i noe that 2006 will be a good one as well. i hope.ü

bitch? bitch not?

okeeiii.. i got a 40%! but what does this make me?? lolx ü

once again, thanks to diana for posting this sa bulletin.ü

Start at 100% and take away 1% for each of these you have done in the past or are doing right now.

Smoked.
Drank alcohol.
Cried when someone died.
Been drunk.
Had s3x.
Been to a concert.
Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
Been verbally s3xually harassed.
Verbally s3xually harassed somebody
Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Been to prom.
Cried at school.
Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
Went streaking.
Given a lap dance.
Had someone of the opposite s3x in your room.
Had someone of the opposite s3x sleep over.
Slept over at someone of the opposite s3x's house.
Kissed a stranger.
Hugged a stranger.
Went scuba diving.
Driven a car.
Gotten an xray.
Hit by a car.
Had a party.
Done drugs.
Played strip poker.
Got paid to strip for someone.
Ran away from home.
Broken a bone.
Eaten sushi.
Bought p0rn.
Watched p0rn.
Made p0rn.
Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
Been in love.
Frenched kissed.
Laughed so hard you cried.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Laughed yourself to sleep.
Stabbed yourself.
Shot a gun.
Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
Watched an animal die.
Watched a person die.
Had s3x and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 other person present.
Pranked somebody.
Put somebody in the hospital.
Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
Kissed somebody of the same s3x.
Dressed punk.
Dressed goth.
Dressed preppy.
Been to a motocross race.
Avoided somebody.
Been stalked.
Stalked someone.
Met a celebrity
Played an instrument.
Ridden a horse.
Cut yourself.
Bungee jumped.
Ding dong ditched somebody.
Been to a wild party.
Got caught stealing something.
Kicked a guy in the balls.
Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
Went out with your friend's crush.
Got arrested.
Been pregnant.
Babysat.
Been to another country
Started your house on fire.
Donated your hair to cancer patients.
Been asked out by someone that you never though you'd to be asked out by.
Cried over a member of the opposite s3x .
Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
Sat on your butt all day.
Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
Had a job.
Gotten cut from a sports team.
Been called a wh0re.
Danced like a wh0re.
Been mistaken for a celebrity.
Been in a car accident.
Been told you have beautiful eyes.
Been told you have beautiful hair.
Danced in the rain.
Been rejected.
Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
Punched someone/slapped someone in the
face.

Goddess of Vanity

hahaha. i scored a perfect 100!ü damn, i know i am a goddess and i definitely know that i AM vain, but this is too much! its living proof that i exist! lol ü

thanks to gandahlicious diana for posting this on her friendster bulletin.ü

Answer the following YES or NO questions to find out how vain you are! Each number you answer YES corresponds to ten points, while NO gets 5.

1. YOU always have a comb in either your pocket or your bag. Even if you know it's not hygienic, you borrow your friend's comb or brush when you forget to bring yours.

2. INVOLUNTARILY, you touch your hair as if it's not always on top of your head. You check if it's smooth or if your bangs are still tucked behind your ears.

3. PHOTOGENICITY is your goal. Whenever someone takes a group picture, you pose, find an angle, and smile before they say '1, 2, 3.'

4. SELF-PORTRAITS make you busy. You take time, a lot of time, taking pictures of yourself and yourself only. You check the lighting and strike a pose while holding your camera with one hand or putting the timer on. When the pic is not good enough for you, you take it again until it's perfect.

5. MIRRORS are addictive to you. Not even just mirrors, even glass doors, or glass bottles are used to reflect your face. When walking, you stop, take a look at yourself and fix up.

6. ORNAMENTALISM brings out the best in you. From simple, to highly metro-fashionable, you shop and get into style.

7. CELLPHONE CAMERAS become very important to you. You take pictures with your friends, put up your phones high, and smile at an
angle.

8. LIPGLOSS is a need. No questions asked.

9. MULTIPLIES, XANGAS, BLOGSPOTS, PICZOS and many more. You have these to show your vanity in pictures or words.

10. YOU WILLINGLY ANSWERED THIS TEST. Answering this proves that YOU are interested in knowing of YOU are vain, and therefore YOU are.


50-59 = Fashion Advocate
60-69 = Fashion Mistress
70-79 = Just Plain Vain
80-89 = Vanity Queen
90-99 = Vanity Princess
100 = Goddess of Vanity